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i know how you feel! (with depression etc)....It's tough stuff...and i know what you mean about private hospitals - I just paid 1000 bucks to have an endoscopy and colonoscopy- tests i had to have done- if i had to wait i would have had to wait ages!! I only get about $300! back! Rip off....You aren't a day care centre- and I know that you love the kids- but if you aren't well - you need to take care of yourself...